Paradise Philippines Motto: NURSES, Nurses galore! or Our People are the most Beautiful because of our Gays
Capital: Smokey Mountain Manila
Largest City: Payatas Dumpsite Quezon City
Government: Bayad muna bago baba, Barya lang po sa Umaga
Fuehrer: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
Vice-Fuehrer: Noli "me speaka no english" De Castro
Top Politicians: Prospero Pichay, Manny Pacquiao, Eddie Gil
Independence: What independence?
National Hero: Manny Pacquiao,
Raganciano Kapitapitagan JuniorNational Languages: La Salle Taft CoƱospeak, Arrneow Lingo, TaGAYlog, Salitang-kalye, Squatter, Tadbaliks, Gay Lingo Chuva Chenes.
Currency: Galunggong Tuyo
Religions: Roman Catholicism, Islam, Ang Dating Daan, Iglesia ni Cristo, El Shaddai, Born Again, Pacquiaoism, Wowowee-ism
Top Universities: School of Hard Knocks, University of the Belt, University of Recto (Instant-graduate!)
University with the Lowest IQ: De La Salle University Manila & Ateneo de Manila University (its a tie!!!)
Official Student's Meal: 4 pcs siomai + rice + extra rice + more extra rice + even more extra rice
National Martial arts: BURNIK FIST (bara-barang suntukan)
Official Ringtone: Itaktak mo!, Boom-Tarat-tarat
Official Videogame: starkrapt, Kawnter-Strayk, Ragnarock, DOTA, Grand_Theft_Auto:_Philippines, Hap Layp, Nigga Stole Mah Bike
Official Mascot: Jollibee
Retardedest Province:Sulu - the decapitation capital of the world (thanks to our export quality Muslim Terrorists in Mindanao)
Official Terrorist Group: Department of InJustice, Abu Sayyaf, Bandana Gang, Ipasabog ang Bomba group, Sundot Puke Gang.
Top Pirated Softwares: I-pod, Windows Xp SP3 with MAC OS TIGER bootability (wtf!?), JUST NEW = Windows Vista Secuirty pack 1.000009
Favorite Filipino Hobbies : Participating in "paid" Rallies, KARAOKE!, Watching Naruto, Surfing Friendster, Exercising finger/s thru Texting, Finding new Pirated DVDs
Best Rip-off of the Year: Captain Smallville Barbell
Do you still want to go to Paradise Philippines? huh?
Labels: anti paradise philippines, Paradise Philippines